bawlers, brawlers and bastards

theres a horsefly beating itself against my window pane, buzzing, screaming, swirling, falling, stopping then starting all over again. the refrigerator hums, the faucet drips, my fingers on the keyboard provide an erratic beat. i wore the brown shoes today, but they dont smell so much anymore. they are over there. tonight is something, maybe some chicken or a bowl of chilli followed by a brownie. or two. why not, right? and now theres laughing on the sidewalk and im all of a sudden in a jealous rage. they fade out, and i wonder if maybe when they stop laughing one of them will do the "ohhhh, hmph" that leads into an awkward silence with hands in pockets and heads pointed to the sidewalk and im not so jealous anymore. i did nothing today and ill never get it back. i should redeem it by doing some laundry, or reading a chapter or two or finally getting around to that one thing. but i wont. john david mcnaughtan was the name of my best friend in kindergarten, and he got cancer and died.

hey, theres news about THIS, from your favorite scarecrow screaming music monster lover lord. my name is impatience.