when not december, the sleigh is a '76 el dorado

today christmas came early. santa came by driving a beat up cadillac...you know the kind...an old white one thats half as long as a city block and begs for bull horns to be tied to the grill. come to think of it, did he have reindeer antlers duct taped to that thing? from a mile down pennsylvania you could see the cloud of black billowing out from behind him like a locomotive...it hissed and wheezed and rattled down the road...mustve thrown a rod somewhere north of here. the air smelled like burnt oil. when he pulled up he didnt say nothing but was grinning with a mouth full of gravel and grit as he threw a bottle into the backseat, its previous contents now hanging heavy on his breath. he reached into a dirty bag that was more matted brown than red velvet, and from it he tossed me this record before peeling off in a scream and squaw and blast of black exhaust with a honk honk honk that nearly drowned out a gutteral howl that sounded a lot more like a manic ha ha ha than a jolly ol' ho ho ho.