hot date
thats right, friends. i got a hot date tonight with a hot chick and i can guarantee i wont get her home until after midnight. woo-hoo!
the few of you readers out there might now be saying to yourselves, "who's gonna date jared? girls dont like jared. they either refuse to return his calls or just want to be friends." or, "wow, i thought he was gay!" well, i must refer you all to yesterday's post that continued the story of mi petit amour, my muse, the beautiful donna johns.
yesterday i speculated that donna and i might go out to the sonic for a malt and then out to the dam to neck, but plans have changed. the cosmos has shifted, the planets aligned and tonight space will be our theater. you see, tonight, sometime between 1am and sunrise, the dross of the Swift-Tuttle comet will collide with earth's atmosphere and provide a show of shooting stars in a spectacular meteor shower. the event happens annually and is called the Perseids, for the apex event usually occurs near the double star cluster of the Perseus constellation. The Perseids have been recorded for thousands of years, but were given the name of "The Fiery Tears of St. Lawrence" sometime after Laurentius, a christian deacon, was roasted to death by the Romans at this time of year in 258AD. legend has it that while ol' larry was broiling he cried out, "I am already roasted on one side and, if thou wouldst have me well cooked, it is time to turn me on the other!" consequently (and ironically) his "feast day" is august 10.
this is getting more and more romantic, isnt it? somehow ive convinced myself that chicks dig a guy who knows history and how to point out the stars in the sky by name. that may not be the case, but donna digs it. she's just the most.
so to all you fellas out there, take your girl (whether she's real or a multi-decade-transcending-figment of your imagination) out tonight and go stargazing. memorize the story i just told, retell it like you own it, and point to any 2 stars that are close together and call them the Perseus constellation. thats right, just pick any 2 stars...she probably won't know the difference...then wish upon one of them and you just might get lucky.
the few of you readers out there might now be saying to yourselves, "who's gonna date jared? girls dont like jared. they either refuse to return his calls or just want to be friends." or, "wow, i thought he was gay!" well, i must refer you all to yesterday's post that continued the story of mi petit amour, my muse, the beautiful donna johns.
yesterday i speculated that donna and i might go out to the sonic for a malt and then out to the dam to neck, but plans have changed. the cosmos has shifted, the planets aligned and tonight space will be our theater. you see, tonight, sometime between 1am and sunrise, the dross of the Swift-Tuttle comet will collide with earth's atmosphere and provide a show of shooting stars in a spectacular meteor shower. the event happens annually and is called the Perseids, for the apex event usually occurs near the double star cluster of the Perseus constellation. The Perseids have been recorded for thousands of years, but were given the name of "The Fiery Tears of St. Lawrence" sometime after Laurentius, a christian deacon, was roasted to death by the Romans at this time of year in 258AD. legend has it that while ol' larry was broiling he cried out, "I am already roasted on one side and, if thou wouldst have me well cooked, it is time to turn me on the other!" consequently (and ironically) his "feast day" is august 10.
this is getting more and more romantic, isnt it? somehow ive convinced myself that chicks dig a guy who knows history and how to point out the stars in the sky by name. that may not be the case, but donna digs it. she's just the most.
so to all you fellas out there, take your girl (whether she's real or a multi-decade-transcending-figment of your imagination) out tonight and go stargazing. memorize the story i just told, retell it like you own it, and point to any 2 stars that are close together and call them the Perseus constellation. thats right, just pick any 2 stars...she probably won't know the difference...then wish upon one of them and you just might get lucky.
posted by Jared Ragland at 8/12/2005 12:33:00 PM
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